In memory of 1994

Currently L-squad is in Rwanda enjoying all the hills and the greenery. We’re split up by teams at different ministries, but are all staying in the capital of Kigali. We’ve already spent a month here, and I’m thankful we have two weeks left! We were able to spend so much extra time here by cutting out a new country for month 9 and remaining here. I’ve loved our time here and our ministry partners. My team and I love walking into town and buying huge avocados and mangos from our friend’s fruit stand. We get to enjoy a lot of freedom to go wherever we want here that we haven’t enjoyed in other countries because of safety. The city is beautiful and incredibly well kept, the people are so kind and inviting, the scenery is gorgeous. If you didn’t know better you would never guess you were walking on streets that just 28 years ago were ravaged with genocide. 

This upcoming Thursday, April 7th, marks the beginning of commemoration of the genocide. Just 28 years ago, in 1994, Rwanda entered into a roughly 100 day genocide where the Hutu majority targeted the Tutsi minority. Conflict and massacres had taken place for many many years before this, but 1994 was the crescendo of the evil. It was the breaking point where the country fell into momentary chaos, and Tutsi’s weren’t safe almost anywhere – not even churches. When we first arrived in Rwanda our host made a point of taking us to the genocide museum and one of the memorials before we began any kind of ministry. I was familiar with the genocide before coming to Rwanda because of what I studied in school, but I knew actually walking the streets it took place in and paying respect to victims at their final resting places would be something surpassing any knowledge I had. And I was right. The hurt and pain of what took place in this country that I now love so much was enough to crush me, to crush anyone. In our time here my team has been intentional about learning what we can, watching documentaries and movies about the realities of what happened, and at times listening to some of our new friends hint at pieces of their own or their families experiences. Each time you learn something new or gain a new picture of what happened the evil hits you afresh. 

In one of these instances my team and I had watched a movie on the genocide together, and afterwards set aside a long time to mourn with God and worship Him. At first I sat there just weeping and asking God why. Why did this happen? Why are there churches all over Rwanda where victims sought refuge and were still killed? I cried out to Him about how I thought the sorrow and pain of this genocide and all the others like it would kill me, and I heard Jesus say to me that He felt that way too – and that He let it kill Him. As I came to Jesus in my heart, I felt Him weeping with me. He was crying over all the people that suffered, He was distraught at the evil that the country had fallen into that would prompt this kind of genocide. That would prompt genocide and such violence anywhere in the world. And He let it kill Him. God saw all the suffering we would ever face in this world at creation, and it hurt His heart so deeply that we had chosen a life outside of Him and His peace that He orchestrated the most beautiful plan of deliverance ever thought of. He sent His son. And His son died and walked through hell. And His son rose through the power of death and brought our freedom. He brought the way back to nearness with God. He brought back the choice of true peace and restoration. 

It’s really easy to get caught up on the fact that there is still evil. How can there be an all-powerful, all-loving God and also so much evil? How can I stand in Rwanda beside men and women who have suffered more than I can ever imagine, and how can they still proclaim the goodness and faithfulness and beauty of God? How can it be true that God is protector and cares so much about His creation when people were killed within the walls of churches? This can only be true and only make sense if we can accept that the evil isn’t from God and that it came about by the choices of humans. 

In the garden, God gave Adam and Eve the gift of free-will and of choice. They could choose to live in the garden and obey God’s word, but they made the choice to step out of it all by taking the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. That choice was theirs to make, and because of their choice we live in a world with sin and darkness from satan. Now we each individually get the choice to step back into the garden and follow God, or remain in the world and the evil ways of the world. Wars, genocides, violence, oppression – these are all choices made by man throughout history. And sure, we could ask next why does God allow evil people to make evil choices that impact innocent people? Why doesn’t He just stop them? Because He wont take away our choices. Because He won’t force any of us into anything. That’s not in His character, and if it were then we wouldn’t be His children, we’d be slaves. This is why we need Jesus. This is why His life and choices to serve and die for us is so powerful and wild to comprehend. God didn’t have to make the choice to save us – He so easily could have left us to our own mess. But He chose to come to us, He chose a way to bring eternal life that will outlast any suffering we could experience on this earth. So as Jesus sat with me and cried over His people, He was mourning the choices that brought our world out of His peace and the way it impacts each individual person whether they were innocent or not. He was crying with me because that pain is real, but then He brought me into rejoicing with Him over all He has done here. Rejoicing over the faith and joy of the people I get the honor to work with everyday. To rejoice over the relationship they get to have with Christ because He refused to leave us without a choice back to Him. 

As we get closer to the beginning of commemoration I want to challenge anyone reading this to learn about what took place here. To study genocides as a whole. To look closely at the different evils in our world that have taken place or that are taking place currently. Look at them and stand in solidarity with the people falling victim to these evils. Honor the victims of past horrors by learning about what happened, and by letting their stories push you to fight for a new creation that chooses God and not the plans of the enemy. Mourn and grieve and feel the sadness, and then let it move you. Sit with God and let Him teach you about His justice, mercy, grace, and His sacrifice. Love your neighbor better. Repent of hate or judgment in your heart towards anyone who looks different than you in the tiniest ways or in the largest ways. Every single person on this earth was created in the image of God and you have no right to view them or treat them as any less than that. How you treat them, how you care for them, how you oppress or abuse them is your choice. Only yours. The Rwandan genocide killed a million people in just 100 days – and every single one of those deaths was an individual choice made by an individual person. What choice will you make?

Abba,

Thank you that you are the God who promises to comfort those who mourn. As Rwanda once again mourns for all that was lost in 1994, I ask for your steady hand of comfort to be placed over them like a blanket. Let your banner of love that you have placed over their heads become a bandage to bind up their wounds. I praise you for the love and joy you have brought to this country in wake of what took place here, and I praise you for the invitation to hope for this love and joy to occur in other conflict-ravaged nations. I pray that the world would not be quick to forget what took place in this genocide and in every other genocide. I pray we would have eyes to seek you in the faces of everyone we meet. I ask your protection over Ukraine, over Syria, over Sudan, over every area of our world that is currently given over to the choices people have taken to serve the enemy. Lord, send your mercy and justice quickly, ”let justice flow like a river”. Lord, thank you that you already have brought mercy and justice. Thank you for Jesus. Thank you for your sacrifice and deep love for us.